Realising your innate resilience and wellbeing is the topic of our 2nd episode in the Designed to Thrive podcast series for young people. Jack (21yrs) shares how he first became aware of the Inner Spark, a term we often use with young people to represent their innate wellbeing. He shares his own experiences of the impact this realisation has had both on his academic performance and his life generally.
As the youngest child Jack initially imagined that success would be achieved by keeping up with the academic achievements of his older sister, or being a great rugby player like his dad. He was falling for the oldest mind trick in the book, looking outside at what he had or might need in order to be happy, fulfilled or viewed as successful. He was constantly disappointed that he didn’t measure up to these expectations.
Until that is, he listened to his Spark and came to realise that he was a unique expression of what it means to be human. He began shifting his focus away from those external factors as a source of satisfaction and a measure of success. He saw that the expectations, whilst feeling real were only ever thoughts. Importantly, he began to trust the inner voice that seemed to know exactly what was the right thing to do when facing decisions, big and small.
Does it seem to you that everyone, particularly parents, friends and teachers, want to give you advice or push you in directions that you’re either not ready for or don’t want to follow? Does it appear that they don’t understand you or aren’t listening? Do you find yourself rejecting their advice or following it blindly, just to fit in?
When you realise that you can listen to and trust that inner spark, you will start to see that everyone is trying to do their best in the circumstances of their own thinking.
You already have everything you need within you to listen calmly to others and to yourself, before making a choice that feels right to you. Even in the most challenging situations the spark is still available to guide us. We may not hear it above the noise of our thinking but we can learn to trust that it’s there ready to be heard. Some people call it instinct or intuition. On the podcast, Jack shares a challenging situation that he faced a couple of years ago. He felt overwhelmed but still had moments of clarity that enabled him to do what needed to be done. His spark was never far from the surface, and neither is yours.
Trusting your inner spark means that you don’t need to keep revisiting something that happened in the past; it’s this repetitive thinking and trying to analyse what happened that gets us stuck and leads to unproductive feelings of guilt and shame.
If you are curious to explore this further you could read about it in my book, “More than you think”.
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We run retreats sharing this information in Weymouth, Dorset. I also offer one to one coaching over Zoom or in person.